Not doing too well

I am having a really bad time with side effects this round. The tingling from the Oxaliplatin remains in my forearm as well as the usual finger tingling, I have constant diarrhea despite medication, I am cold all the time and I can't eat anything except porridge in the morning. The rest of the day I have smoothies and protein drinks. At least I am not vomiting!

Because I am not eating I am really tired and don't feel like doing much at all. I have spent most of the day sleeping and am feeling a bit better now, so I am going into my sewing room where I hope to finish off a quilt top that I started in 1996! Time it was off my hands. I plan to have it professionally quilted - I doubt I could cope with wrestling it through the machine.

Back on Chemo

We had a 10 am appointment with the oncologist and he reviewed the last week. He has looked at the scan and says the disease is still stable. The enlargement of the lung tumours is minute, and he is not worried about that. However, the CEA marker went up again to 4400 - twice what it was 2 weeks ago, so the Avastin alone is not doing enough to stop tumour activity. So I am back on the heavy stuff - Avastin, Xeloda and Oxaliplatin.

I start Xeloda tomorrow, but I had an infusion of the other two drugs with an early bad reaction to the Oxaliplatin. My hand hurt around the cannula and I had pain and pins and needles in my lower arm which extended up into my shoulder. Two hours now since the infusion stopped, but my arm is still bothering me and the mouth and finger tingling in response to cold is back to full strength. I'm glad I had icecream for lunch - guess it will be a while before I can eat it again.

I am not really looking forward to the next fortnight with Xeloda. Wish me luck and no side effects.

Vale Christopher Booth

Chris died peacefully yesterday. He had oesophagal cancer which spread to his bones. I have never met him because he lived in England, but I have been following his journey in his blog and I feel his death keenly. He and I were diagnosed within a day of each other and up to a month ago he seemed to be doing well. It is devastating to lose a fellow traveller, especially one so young. He was only 46. My deepest sympathy to Gillian, his wife.

A not so good day

We went to see the oncologist yesterday. The news was not the good I had hoped for. The report on the CT scan shows the liver tumours are stable, but at least one lung tumour has increased. Also my CEA is rising - 3000 now, up from 2200 a week ago. I am shattered - all the awful side effects I have been enduring seem to have been for nothing. I had an infusion of Avastin, but was told not to go back on the Xeloda.

The oncologist seems uncertain about what to do. I am to go back in a week's time, after he has had a look at the scan himself - he had only seen the report, not the actual images.

A little brightness - I have had two reasonable meals today. Food still does not taste good, but I am able to take in more than I have been able to for the past few weeks.

A good day

I am still not able to eat much, but I had a big bowl of fruit, yoghurt and full cream milk, topped with a spoonful of cereal and some cream for breakfast. I ate all of it except the cereal! Then for lunch I had some stewed apple and icecream. Ate all of that too. Tonight I intend to have another bowl of the vegetable soup I made and ate last night.

I have had a lovely day. This morning, after having my blood test in preparation for tomorrow's visit to the oncologist, I went with a friend to an art exhibition. We were too early, so we went to another gallery and enjoyed what we saw there, then came back to our intended destination. It was great. Read more on my other blog if you are interested.

This afternoon we went to visit Margaret. She seems to be holding up well after Haddon's death a few weeks ago. Then we went down to South Beach and had a little walk in the park there. It was a lovely day, warm and sunny, and a pleasant stroll. I am pretty tired now, though.

The CT Scan

I managed to mess up my appointment time - I thought it was 10.45 am when it was actually supposed to be 9.45. Fortunately they were able to slot me in as the last patient for the morning. I don't know how it happened - blame it on chemo brain that I didn't actually check the time on my appointment letter.

By the time the scan was finished they were delivering lunch to surrounding wards and it smelled so good! What a thing to say about hospital food! It smelled like savoury mince with peas and other vegetables and I thought about it all the way home. I decided a meat pie would be good, so I stopped off and bought two at a deli. Got them home and reheated, only to discover that I couldn't eat more than two fork fulls, despite a liberal dose of tomato sauce. However, it didn't go to waste - Kevin finished it off after his own pie. I had a glass of Sustagen.

Now we wait until Friday to find out what the scan showed. Please let it be good news.

Still not eating

I went to the GP this morning to get my regular prescriptions rewritten. She was also concerned about my weight loss, though she didn't have any suggestions on coping with inability to eat that I haven't already tried. She did say that eating what I could, when I could, was the best that I could do at the moment.

She took my blood pressure and it was quite low, so she has taken me off one medication and wants to evaluate the other in three weeks or so. She also did a blood sugar test and it is a bit high. Now I could have diabetes to worry about as well!

I am to have my CT scan tomorrow morning at 10.45 am, and I am not allowed to have anything but water for six hours prior, so my usual calorie loading won't happen tomorrow morning. I just hope I will be able to eat afterwards to make up for it. Plus, of course, I am hoping for some good results to justify the struggle I am having with chemo's side effects.